15signs

From CleanPosts

Fifteen signs you are an evil warlord receiving first aid from Xena

1. Xena says, "It was a real nasty bruise, I had to amputate."
2. She uses her breast dagger and a turkey baster to take a blood sample.
3. Xena says, "Did you sleep well Mr., or should I say, Miss Ruffian?"
4. She wraps the blood pressure cuff around your neck.
5. Gabrielle says, "Waitaminute Xena, if that is his spleen what's this?" and Xena replies, "I *don't* know what it is but pack it in ice anyway."
6. Xena says, "Look at it this way, now your highest note is 'Ti.'"
7. Xena says, "Whatdja say? Who's on the other bedroll you ask? Actually that's also you."
8. Xena says, "Accept this sacrifice, Dahok, O Great Lord of Darkness"
9. Xena says, "Gabrielle, hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."
10. "Hey Gabby, unzip the body parchment on that one, he's still moving."
11. Xena says, "I'm sorry, I had to give you a local anaesthetic, can't get the imported stuff."
12. Gabby says, "Did you know he would look like that afterward Xena?"
13. "Gabby, make sure you're getting all this down. It'll make a great 'ER' play."
14. You've always wanted to give your heart to Xena, but you didn't mean it literally.
15. You realize that Xena is using you as a live version of a Milton Bradley game ("Remove Wrenched Ankle!").