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  • The going rate for restitution of stolen animals is five to one for oxen, and four to one for sheep.
  • Grazing animals in another man's field, or burning another man's crops is considered theft.
  • Killing a thief in the act is not a capital crime.
  • If a thief does not have sufficient goods to make restitution, he goes into slavery.
  • If you swear to God that you didn't dip into the flocks you were keeping for another man, that's good enough for the judge.
  • If you seduce a virgin, she must become your wife, unless the father says nay, then you shell out beaucoup shekels.
  • Witches are to be killed on sight.
  • Sleeping with animals other than homo sapiens merits the death penalty.
  • Worshiping a god other than Yahweh is also a capital offense.
  • No teargassing strangers or putting their children in cages.
  • No picking on widows and orphans, because if God hears about it, he will make your own wife a widow and your own children orphans.
  • Lending money to poor Hebrews must be without interest and good luck making a living at that.
  • Respect other gods and politicians (Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people.)
  • Don't eat carrion like vultures do.
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Strangers In Paradise