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Ruby: Why was Callisto always so easy to defeat?

Xena: You can't teach a new god old tricks.

Ruby: When Gabrielle came back from the dead did she look any different?

Xena: Absence makes the head grow blonder.

Ruby: Someone heard you say Gabrielle could burn water.

Xena: I didn't mean it. Never judge a cook by her lover.

Ruby: What's the most important thing for a woman to know when serving in an army?

Xena: "Mess with the men" means share dining facilities.

Ruby: What happened to that ten thousand dinars?

Xena: I have many bills.

Ruby: How many times have you died and come back?

Xena: I have many wills.

Ruby: Does Gabrielle ever run out of pens?

Xena: She has many quills.

Ruby: Your teeth are astonishingly perfect.

Xena: I have many fills.

Ruby: Was the Tonight Show thing your first equestrian accident?

Xena: I have many spills.

Ruby: What comes with the job as Warrior Princess?

Xena: I have many frills.

Ruby: I understand you really like pickles.

Xena: I have many dills.

Ruby: Why does Gabrielle talk so much?

Xena: She takes many pills.

Ruby: Of course, many of your fans are women.

Xena: I have many Jills.

Ruby: I notice there are a lot of windows in your house.

Xena: I have many sills.

Ruby: I see you have a large collection of pepper grinders.

Xena: Yes, would you like to see them?

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