Signs1

From CleanPosts

Jump to: navigation, search

Signs Xena is Ripping Off Star Wars

  1. Emperor Augustus dissolves the Roman Senate and lets the regional governors have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local villages in line.
  2. To improve his image as a formidable warrior Joxer wears a black robe, black kitchen utensils, and dons an iron mask that makes him sound just like that guy who says, "This...is CNN."
  3. Velasca is accidentally released from carbonite freeze and starts asking around for "Gabby the Slut".
  4. Gabrielle rushes home to find the charred remains of her parents. She swears to learn the ways of the horse and become a warlord like Xena.
  5. X & G hide from the Romans in a cave that turns out to actually be the belly of the Giant Slug of Lemnos.
  6. A scumbag says, "You'll never make me talk!" Xena puts her touch thingy on him and says, "I find your lack of faith disturbing."
  7. Gabrielle informs Joxer why it's not wise to upset a Xena: "Joxers don't rip peoples arms out of their sockets when they lose. Xenas have been known to do that."
  8. Xena and Gabrielle discover a tribe that can only be described as a teddy bear version of the Horde.
  9. Eli has been replaced by a short, green, gnome-like fellow with pointed ears (who sounds suspiciously like Grover from SESAME STREET ).
  10. Joxer has a crush on Gab, only to discover that she is his long lost twin sister who was separated from him at birth to protect her from Joxer's criminal family.
  11. Xena says to Gab "I love you". Gab responds: "I know"
  12. Ares to Xena: "You like me because I AM a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life"
  13. Ares says to Xena, "I AM your father." He then says: "Xena, you can destroy Zeus. He has forseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together, we can rule the Herc-Xenaverse as father and daughter." (Of course, if this DID occur, this would make Herc Xena's uncle. Hence the ultimate Greek Tragedy would've occurred in "Unchained Heart").
Personal tools