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  1. 0bumbler adds another notch to his belt of accomplishments. Way to go Barney Fife. #egypt
  2. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue - The new home of the Whopper!
  3. 7 of the 10 wealthiest counties in the United States happen to be suburbs of the nation’s capital. Sobering.
  4. 92% of convicted murders are Democrats...Conclusion: Guns don't kill people...Democrats do!
  5. Accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior? That'd be really selfish!
  6. According to Descartes, liberals do not exist!
  7. According to Descartes, liberals do not exist!
  8. According to Descartes, liberals do not exist! #tcot
  9. A disarmed generation soon becomes an X-generation
  10. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  11. After McCain came out in favor of TARP I didn't care if Sarah Palin campaigned the final few weeks in a bikini I wasn't voting GOP
  12. After the jury gets KSM off, don't worry, he promises to take a cue from OJ and look for the real mastermind of 9-11.
  13. A Haiku…Obama has failed / The worst President ever / Jimmy Carter smiles!
  14. A Haiku…Obama has failed / The worst President ever / Jimmy Carter smiles! #tcot
  15. Ah blow my nose at you, so-called Obama Keeeng!
  16. Ah blow my nose at you, so-called Obama Keeeng! #tcot
  17. A job is nice but it interferes with being a libtard
  18. A job is nice but it interferes with being a libtard #tcot
  19. A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point, an upper persuasion for a lower invasion.
  20. A kiss can be a comma, question mark or an exclamation point, an application for a better position, an upper persuasion for a lower invasion
  21. Al Gore predicted a twenty-foot rise this century, we're already 11 years into the century, the sea level better giddyup.
  22. A liberal fool and your money are soon partying.
  23. A liberal fool and your money are soon partying. #tcot
  24. A nation of sheep soon acquires a government of wolves
  25. Angelina Jolie's lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
  26. Armed Americans are citizens, unarmed Americans are subjects
  27. A Royal Egyptian passing wind is a toot uncommon!
  28. Barack Obama is called a big thinker...by people who lisp
  29. Barry will come out with a statement urging restraint on the part of protesters in Libya, lest they perpetrate the cycle of violence.
  30. BBC: Top Afghanistan militant captured (terrorists are "militants", rioters are "youthful activists")
  31. Before you turn your back on Jesus, take a look at His.
  32. Being politically correct means always having to say you're sorry.
  33. Being politically correct means always having to say you're sorry. #tcot
  34. Berkeley CA called for resettling GITMO detainees in the United States, then voted against inviting such persons to live in Berkeley
  35. BHO Administration: The outcome in Egypt may be 180 degrees from our previous position but we'll see which side wins and applaud.
  36. BHO spent the 1st year of his Presidency apologizing for US greatness, and then the next 2 years making sure it never happened again.
  37. Blessed are the .45 Colt Peacemakers (This tweet paid for by the PDFA: the Partnership for a Democrat-Free America)
  38. Blessed are those who have the ability to laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
  39. Bush gave billions of dollars to Katrina, I betcha Obama gives a trillion dollars to Irene
  40. But just remember, this double dip recession is Bush's fault. Bush is responsible for everything bad that happens for the next century
  41. Cain vs Obama would be be Cain vs Unable
  42. Can't make the grade? Liberals will lower the standards for you.
  43. Can't make the grade? Liberals will lower the standards for you. #tcot
  44. Capitalism is the naturally unequal production of wealth. Socialism is the artificially equal distribution of poverty.
  45. Charlie Sheen is winning cause Chuck Norris isn't playing.
  46. Cheney: "My book will have heads exploding in D.C." (presumably his book will have a built-in shotgun)
  47. Choose one: [ ] Free America [ ] Gun-free America
  48. Christian Linux: if you delete the Linux partition, it returns three days later
  49. Christian Linux: no daemons are allowed, and you can't create a child folder unless you have two committed parent folders.
  50. Christians want to serve God. Barack Obama wants to serve God as well, but only as an adviser.
  51. Christians want to serve God. Barack Obama wants to serve God as well, but only as an adviser. #tcot
  52. Christ paid a debt he didn't owe to satisfy a debt we couldn't pay.
  53. "Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." --Ayn Rand
  54. "Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." --Ayn Rand #tcot
  55. CNN: Libya threatening to use nuclear bomb unless the allies leave immediately. Obama cuts short his 18 holes in Rio and just plays 9
  56. Cogito Ergo Sum Liberalis Nullius: I think, therefore I am...not a liberal
  57. Cogito Ergo Sum Liberalis Nullius: I think, therefore I am...not a liberal #tcot
  58. Computer nerds all say I'm a 10, but they don't specify which base they're counting in.
  59. Conan O'Brian's advice to Egypt: "If you want people to stay at home and do nothing, you should turn the Internet back on."
  60. Confucius Say: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  61. Conservatives believe what they see; liberals see what they believe
  62. Conservatives believe what they see; liberals see what they believe #tcot
  63. Conservatives fear that you won't understand their proposals; liberals fear that you will.
  64. Crime must pay, or Democrats wouldn't seek re-election.
  65. Criminals and Democrats both want an unarmed populace. Coincidence?
  66. "Dear Egyptian Demonstrators (Rioters), please do not destroy the pyramids! We will not rebuild." -- The Jews
  67. Dear God, give us the ability to feed the millions of starving children in the world, because, as You know, You won't,,,,
  68. Debate crowd boos a gay soldier, Santorum says he would reinstate DADT. And people wonder why gay & lesbian conservatives are so rare
  69. DELANO, CA — A CA man attending a cockfight has died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to one of its limbs
  70. Democratic puppies? No, Republican. Their eyes are open!
  71. Democrats: Limousine liberalism, Euro-socialism, abortion on demand, loose standards, dope, underage prostitutes...what a "party"!!
  72. Democrats love the Indianapolis 500. It's a competition to see who can drive the fastest while constantly turning left.
  73. Democrats: "Social security is not overdrawn; your money is just having an 'out-of-trust-fund-experience'"
  74. Dennis Miller says his Obowow-voting friends feel like they took Ambien and woke up in the yard, naked.
  75. Director of National Intelligence James Clapper Says Muslim Brotherhood “Largely Secular” (uh-huh, and Obama is pro-business too!)
  76. Dubai Says No to Miss Israel, Trump Moves Miss Universe to Vegas
  77. During the Middle Ages, before the invention of the printing press, monks used to fight to be the one to copy the sexy Song of Solomon.
  78. Egyptian students promise to storm US embassy if Palestinian bid at UN is vetoed (shades of Tehran 1979)
  79. Egypt: The first victim of repression is the Internet, which means the Internet is the greatest force for democracy ever created
  80. Egypt: The first victim of repression is the Internet, which means the Internet is the greatest force for democracy ever created #tcot
  81. Egypt was once the world's largest exporter of wheat, now the largest importer of wheat. When the oil runs out they are screwed.
  82. Emanuel elected mayor with 110% of precincts reporting.
  83. Enjoying the Seattle Rain Festival (1st January - 31st December )
  84. European officials object to US control of the Internet, BHO agrees and also cedes control of the Interstate freeway system to Mexico
  85. Ever notice how liberals think free speech is only for them? Hence Al Gore with his thumb on the microphone cut-out switch
  86. Ever notice how liberals think free speech is only for them? Hence Al Gore with his thumb on the microphone cut-out switch #tcot
  87. Ever notice how liberal sympathy doesn't cross the party line?
  88. Ever notice how liberal sympathy doesn't cross the party line? #tcot
  89. Ever notice there's no crime at a shooting range?
  90. Every morning when I'm off from work, but my sweetie works, I make her coffee, bacon and sunny side up, and burn a new CD for her
  91. Florida is the only state to outlaw bungee jumping, which is sort of moot because there's nothing high enough in Florida to bungee from
  92. Forget Gun Control, I Want *CRIMINAL CONTROL#
  93. Forget Gun Control, I Want *CRIMINAL CONTROL* #tcot
  94. France is going to house the new fusion reactor, if it succeeds, eternal cheap energy. If it fails, BAM! France is gone! It's win win!
  95. Friends help you move. True friends help you move bodies.
  96. GESTAPO: Government Ethics Strained To Aid President Obama
  97. Global warming: From friction as America's founding fathers roll over in their graves
  98. God is conservative: Eccl. 10:2: "A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left. (Santa Claus is liberal)
  99. God to the cats: Go forth and rule the humans who think they rule
  100. Golden Rule: Always Tweet Others As You Would Wish To Be Tweeted
  101. GOP ESTABLISHMENT: Take your Snowes, Bushes, Collinses, Romneys, Gingriches and form your Conservative wing of the DNC already.
  102. Government sponsored research leads to government approved results
  103. Gun Control is being able to put bullets through the same hole. Body Piercing by Colt. #tcot
  104. Gun Control is being able to put three bullets through the same hole. Body Piercing by Colt.
  105. Gun control: It isn't about guns, it's about control.
  106. Gun control: It isn't about guns, it's about control. #tcot
  107. Have you ever wondered where people in hell tell each other to go? Obama is taking us straight there.
  108. Have you noticed that even FOX News is using close ups of the crowds in Egypt? They must be getting smaller.
  109. Having Democrats control the Senate and the Oval Office is like having two wolves and a sheep vote on what's for dinner.
  110. He bows to our enemies and betrays our allies! Now that's Change you can believe in!
  111. Hey, President Obama, can you see November from those Martha’s Vineyard beaches? A big wave is coming right at you.
  112. Hint to Liberals - Stop pressing the Q-Tip when you feel resistance!
  113. Hint to Liberals - Stop pressing the Q-Tip when you feel resistance! #tcot
  114. Holder told the Euros that Gitmo is a terrible place and that he still wants to close it down before the next election (Left buys it)
  115. Holiness is not the way to Christ. Christ is the way to holiness.
  116. How do you occupy a liberal for hours? A: Write 'Important Message From Mr. Obama Please Turn Over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
  117. How do you occupy a liberal for hours? A: Write 'Important Message From Mr. Obama Please Turn Over' on both sides of a piece of paper. #tcot
  118. How many Obama jokes are there? Three. The rest are facts.
  119. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/08/arabic-classes-texas-school_n_820159.html Mandatory Arabic Classes in Texas
  120. I am the great and powerful Obama of Oz. Ignore the man behind the voting curtain!
  121. I am the great and powerful Obama of Oz. Ignore the man behind the voting curtain! #tcot
  122. I caught a left-wing liberal trying to open the trunk of my car yesterday. I had to tell him I locked him in there for a reason
  123. I don't consider MYSELF a Christian, I pray that JESUS considers me a follower
  124. If a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
  125. If ignorance is bliss, then Democrats must be continuously orgasmic.
  126. If Islam is the religion of peace, I'd hate to come across the religion of war.
  127. If Islam is the religion of peace, I'd hate to come across the religion of war. #tcot
  128. If it was Obama as Japanese PM he'd come on TV and say he was looking for some nuclear power plant asses to kick
  129. If Microsoft had a nickel for every time someone got the Blue Screen of Death on Windows...oh wait, they do!
  130. If Obama lied about being the author of his "autobiography" why should we take him at his word that he was born in the US?
  131. If Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing, I say we give him one this year and also in 2012. And in Jan. 2013 a gold watch.
  132. If Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing, I say we give him one this year and also in 2012. And in Jan. 2013 a gold watch. #tcot
  133. If only Bush had shut down the HAARP program they wouldn't have been able to trigger the earthquake ;-)
  134. If people from Poland are called Poles, why don't we call people from Holland Holes?
  135. If psychic hotlines really work, how come they always request my Visa card number and expiration date?
  136. If psychic hotlines really work, how come they always request my Visa card number and expiration date?
  137. If Rabbi Daniel Lapin posted links to his site on Twitter, would that be kosher Spam?
  138. If smoking is banned, Obama will only be able to use mirrors.
  139. If the gun grabbin' Captain Planet watchin' NPR listenin' UTNE Reader readin' red diaper doper baby union thug shoe fits, wear it!
  140. If you are a liberal, who's reading this Tweet to you?
  141. If you can't dazzle 'em with Brilliance, then baffle 'em with Liberalism
  142. If you can't dazzle 'em with Brilliance, then baffle 'em with Liberalism #tcot
  143. If you go to heaven and God sneezes, what do you say?
  144. If you owe $10,000 you have a problem, but if you owe $14 trillion dollars, your bank (China) has a problem.
  145. If you're not part of the solution, you're a liberal
  146. If you think that Supply Side Economics refers to your drug dealer's business model, you might be a liberal.
  147. I hate being bipolar, it's awesome!
  148. I hate being bipolar! It's awesome!!
  149. I have a condition where everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm. I'm taking pepper for it
  150. I hope Cain gets in there, then race will be canceled out, and the campaign will be about ideas alone
  151. I like that teacher who would staple McDonalds job applications to the tests of students who failed. Give that one a raise.
  152. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
  153. I love elves, dragons, unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, aliens, sensible liberals, and other fantasy creatures.
  154. I'm celibate by choice. My second choice.
  155. I'm not a loyal Democrat nor a loyal Republican, I'm a loyal American first and foremost
  • I'm scared of clowns...that get elected President.
  1. I'm scared of clowns...that get elected President.
  2. I'm scared of clowns that get elected President.
  3. In countries like Egypt where there is no 2nd Amendment, people have to throw rocks to protect themselves from the government
  4. Infinite rednecks shooting infinite shotgun rounds at an infinite number of road signs will produce all the works of Shakespeare in Braille.
  5. In Illinois, governors serve two terms. One in office, the other in jail.
  6. Integrity in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes
  7. Integrity in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes #tcot
  8. In the beginning there was nothing, and God said "Let there be light." And there was still nothing, but at least you could see it .
  9. In the BO Administration it's not who you know, it's who you yes.
  10. In the BO Administration it's not who you know, it's who you yes. #tcot
  11. In the last 30 years who was the only President to reduce the debt? Anyone ... here is a clue .. they impeached him
  12. In the movie "Independence Day" aliens destroy Washington, DC, but later we learn that they are hostile.
  13. In the Sixties people took LSD to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
  14. In the South, why is a hurricane like getting a divorce? (Either way, you know somebody's gonna end up losing a trailer.)
  15. "In times like these, it's helpful to remember that there have always been times like these." --Paul Harvey
  16. I remember when coffee was a grind and paying for it was not
  17. IRS says up to 100 rolls of Charmin can be claimed as a business expense because they're for "taking care of business".
  18. Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with "May Day!"
  19. I take Friday off in case Allah is the Creator, Saturday off in case YHWH is the Creator, and Sunday off in case Jesus is the Creator
  20. I think Al Gore's whole problem is that he's got poor ice sight.
  21. It's attack whitey night at the state fairs around the nation. Hope and change.
  22. It's attack whitey night at the state fairs around the nation. Hope and change.
  23. It's black history month, let's make Obama history
  24. It's not Obama's fault, in the end, we failed him. We did not live up to his dream. He is not angry with America. Just disappointed.
  25. I turned in my guns like Obama told me, and all I got was these crummy leg-irons.
  26. I turned in my guns like Obama told me, and all I got was these crummy leg-irons. #tcot
  27. I've been rich ever since Bush's "Tax Cuts Only For The Rich". I almost retired I was so rich
  28. I've seen N. Korean cookbooks with 40 ways to cook bark, because everything that barks has already been cooked
  29. I wonder if the Muslim Brotherhood will blow up the pyramids....remember when the Taliban blew up the Buddha statues in Afghanistan?
  30. Japan's problem is they will find it hard to borrow money to restore the damage, govt debt is already 225% of GDP (compare US 59%)
  31. Jesus at a discotheque: "I've risen and I can't get down!"
  32. Jesus built a bridge to heaven with three nails and two pieces of wood.
  33. Jesus must be in jail; that's where everyone seems to find him.
  34. Jewish Mother Haiku: Is one Nobel Prize / So much to ask from a child / After all I've done?
  35. Jewish Mother Haiku --> The sparrow brings home // Too many worms for her young // "Force yourself," she chirps.
  36. Jimmy Carter quietly celebrated his ascension to number 43 on the list of all-time greatest Presidents.
  37. Joe Biden says he will include Cairo in his upcoming South American tour.
  38. @joe_dougherty: @LinuxGal Nice to see you back. You were gone a while! // Thanks Joe!
  39. Journey with me now to YELLOWSTONE! http://www.cleanposts.com/index.php/Yellowstone
  40. Kill 13 GI’s at Ft. Hood and that’s not a hate crime, but look cross-eyed at a cabbie from Camelhumpistan and you deserve 20 to life.
  41. Larry Craig's List?
  42. Let's make sure liberals really ARE left...left out, left behind, left over...
  43. Letter from my missing sock: Hate you, hate the dryer, ran away to join the Muppets
  44. Let your mind be as a cloud, let your stillness be as a woody glen. And sit up straight, you'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that
  45. Liberal: "If it saves just one person from being poor, enslaving you was worth it."
  46. Liberalism is as useless as ejection seats for helicopters, inflatable dart boards, Braille drive up ATMs and dehydrated water.
  47. Liberalism is as useless as spit valves for violins, double-sided playing cards, open-toed safety shoes, and flavored suppositories
  48. Liberalism is not one damn thing after another, it's one damn thing over and over.
  49. Liberalism is not one damn thing after another, it's one damn thing over and over. #tcot
  50. Liberalism: Protect animals, trees, government programs, terrorists, dictators and murderers while killing babies, seniors, and jobs.
  51. Liberalism: Protect animals, trees, government programs, terrorists, dictators and murderers while killing babies, seniors, and jobs. #tcot
  52. LIBERAL: Lacking Intelligence But Eagerly Reducing American Liberty
  53. Liberals aren't totally worthless - they can still serve as a bad example.
  54. Liberals, my last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
  55. Liberals prefer their Constitution printed on a convenient 250 sheet twin-ply roll
  56. Liberals: Talk radio causes homegrown terrorism. Conservatives: Devil Music causes teen suicide
  57. Liberals will never understand, the most efficient way to touch a criminal's heart is with three disabling rounds through his ribcage
  58. Liberals will never understand, the most efficient way to touch a criminal's heart is with three rounds through his ribcage
  59. Liberal: Too poor to be a capitalist, too rich to be a Communist.
  60. Liberal: Too poor to be a capitalist, too rich to be a Communist. #tcot
  61. Liberal version of 'free' speech: They don't tax it!
  62. Light travels faster than sound. This is why liberals appear bright until you hear them speak.
  63. Linuxgal interviews Xena: http://www.cleanposts.com/index.php/Interview
  64. LinuxGal (Teresita) waves to Doug and the boys on the Elephant Bar.
  65. Living on the Left Coast is like living in a bowl of granola. What ain't fruits and nuts is flakes!
  66. Mary had a little lamb - BOY, That must have hurt!
  67. Maybe if Hosni Mubarak was caught sending a shirtless photo of himself to a Craigslist whore, he’d decide to resign. #egypt
  68. meow what? meow I'm hungry? meow I wanna go out, what?
  69. Mexican troops engage in kinetic military action in Texas. No need to get Mexican congressional approval though since its not war
  70. Milestones in Xena and Gabrielle's Childhood http://2164th.blogspot.com/2011/02/god-bless-finest-military-on-earth.html
  71. Minnesota is now considered a swing state — after voting Democratic in the last 9 presidential elections.
  72. Misery Index when Obama took office: - 7.8. Today: - 12.8
  73. Money does talk. Mine says, "Goodbye!"
  74. Money talks, but all mine ever says is "See ya!"
  75. Money talks. Democrats in Washington think your money is telling them, "Spend Me"
  76. Money talks. Democrats in Washington think your money is telling them, "Spend Me" #tcot
  77. More government is like a recreational root canal
  78. Mr. Whipple says, "Don't squeeze the Koran!"
  79. MSNBC is so far to the left you need a second screen just to see it.
  80. MSNBC's Thomas Roberts: GOP thinks "slavery was cool" (sure that's why the GOP went to war against the rednecks & peckerwoods in 1861)
  81. Mubarak calls for Obama to resign.
  82. My doctor told me to give up wine, women, and song. I'll miss song.
  83. My girlfriend thinks I'm too nosy, she said so in her diary.
  84. My latest tattoo: http://www.cleanposts.com/images/f/f2/Rubytat.jpg
  85. Nazi Pelosi says jobless rate would have hit 14.5% without stimulus (Why not say 14.474% since she's making numbers up?)
  86. Need a spiritual home? Consider joining us at Mary Queen of the Universe Latter-day Buddhislamic Free Will Christian UFO Synagogue of Vishnu
  87. Never trust a government that doesn't trust its own citizens to be armed
  88. Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where Obama's projected job growth figures come from .
  89. Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where Obama's projected job growth figures come from.
  90. Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where Obama's projected job growth figures come from.
  91. No honey, I can't eat with the family. My computer gets lonely!
  92. No protests in Iraq like there is in Egypt, Jordan, Tunisia. They already have democracy. Libstream media mention this? Hell no!
  93. North Korean cook book: "40 Ways to Cook Bark" . . . Because everything that barks has already been cooked.
  94. Note from my missing sock: "Hate you, hate the dryer, ran away to join the Muppets"
  95. Nothing is so permanant as a Temporary Government Program. Liberals never solve problems, they institutionalize them!
  96. Not news: police taser 5' 2" woman for possible shoplifting. News: she's also 400 pounds
  97. OB1 Kenyobi, Hugo Chavez & Fidel Castro - The Marxist Brothers
  98.  ? + ? = Obama
  99. Obama: All prisoners to be released after completing Anger Management. US Prisons to become re-education facilities for hate speech
  100. Obamacare combines the efficiency of the postal system with the compassion of the IRS
  101. ObamaCare complain form: [] <-please write legibly
  102. Obama Computer Virus: Makes Turbo Tax raid your Quicken folder, then it shuts your computer down and blames Bush
  103. Obama doesn't have a backbone, just a very large wishbone
  104. Obama has a new plan to make sure crime never pays: he's going to nationalize it!
  105. Obama has a new plan to make sure crime never pays: he's going to nationalize it! #tcot
  106. Obama is huddled with his advisers to decide where he'll play golf this week.
  107. Obama is the Peace Prize winner, and we're in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, the War on Drugs, and the Drone Wars
  108. Obama kept his promise to turn the government around, now everyday Americans are running for their lives trying not to get run over.
  109. Obama kept his promise to turn the government around, now everyday Americans are running for their lives trying not to get run over. #tcot
  110. Obama on Egypt: "Veni, Vidi, Eggo." (I came, I saw, I waffled)
  111. Obama on Egypt: "Veni, Vidi, Eggo." (I came, I saw, I waffled) #tcot
  112. Obama promises to eliminate waste from the budget, line by line. He thinks eleven aircraft carriers are SUCH a waste...
  113. Obama proposes $484 billion dollar cash influx for the Teachers Union after learning exactly half of all schoolchildren test below average
  114. Obama says Mubarak must begin his transition now, but ignores the Judicial Death Panel verdict that ObamaCare™ is unconstitutional.
  115. Obama's policies are working. The American factory is turning into a work-free drug place.
  116. Obama started a war in Libya, and it's the ONLY thing he doesn't want to control.
  117.  ? + ? = Obama #tcot
  118. Obama: The Foreign Relation President #tcot
  119. Obama: "  ? What's that, and are we taxing it?"
  120. Odd how liberals protect animals, trees, terrorists, and murderers while killing babies, rights, traditions, freedom, and jobs
  121. Oil Shippers are refusing to load in the Red Sea & transit the Suez Canal, adding 20 days time to Rotterdam and raising tanker rates.
  122. One pickpocket is a thief, 10 men shaking down a business is a gang, 100 men is the Mafia, 10,000 men looting the nation is the IRS.
  123. One pickpocket is a thief, 10 men shaking down a business is a gang, 100 men is the Mafia, 10,000 men looting the nation is the IRS. #tcot
  124. Only a liberal could coin a term such as "undertaxed."
  125. Only a liberal thinks CUTTING how much money the government takes from us needs to be PAID FOR
  126. On the census form I always check the Native American box; I was born in Washington State
  127. On the fourth of July I feel red, white and blue. On April 15th I feel bled, black and blue.
  128. Oprah Winfrey virus : Your hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 gigabytes, announces that fact proudly, then slowly expands back to 250GB
  129. OWS, job training for future Congressional Democrats, what they don't screw up or rape they shit upon.
  130. Palin, the governor who quit, accuses fellow Republicans of having the fighting instinct of sheep on Libya. Go figure.
  131. Pastor Terry Jones should put the Koran in a bucket of piss and call it "Art", then libs would say how “edgy” and “avant garde” he is.
  132. Paul Revere'd the right to bear arms. Will you?
  133. Perry screwed up his debates so bad he looks like Obama off 'Prompter.
  134. Pew researchers found that 84 percent of Egyptians favor the death penalty for people who leave the Muslim religion.
  135. Plumbers Creed: A good flush beats a full house anytime!
  136. Plumbers Creed: A good flush beats a full house anytime!
  137. Porkulus worked! There's millions of new government jobs!
  138. President Obama Believes Fox News Is Not a Legitimate News Organization. Kenya believe that?
  139. President Obama is barnstorming the heartland to boost US jobs in a taxpayer-financed bus the government had custom built -- in Canada
  140. Putin wants to be President of Russia again. As long as he doesn't wear dark glasses and I can keep track of his soul, I'm comfortable
  141. Putting Patty Murray on a committee to control spending is like putting Ross Perot on a mental health task force
  142. Q: How far away is far away enough for the Ground Zero Victory Mosque? A: 20 miles Southeast.
  143. Quick..who said “never let a crisis go to waste”? a) Rahm Emanuel or b) The Muslim Brotherhood
  144. Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. Okay, enough with the chicken jokes!
  145. Rahm Emmanuel opened the mayoral elections to the Dead, it's more Democratic that way.
  146. Reagan: The Great Communicator. Obama: The Great Fabricator
  147. Recipe for Obama Stew: A little weenie in hot water
  148. Recipe for Obama Stew: A little weenie in hot water #tcot
  149. Recovery Summer is almost over, the Faltering Fall is ready to begin, to be followed by the Wasted Winter.
  150. Remember Benazir Bhutto? Under Islam only ruthless leaders survive. A spreading democratic wave in Egypt is a neocon pipe dream.
  151. "Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15." — Ronald Reagan
  152. Review the sad history of America's Original Inhabitants to see what ‘entitlements’ can do to a once proud people.
  153. Robinson Crusoe was the only one who got everything done by Friday!
  154. Ronald Wilson Reagan left his mark in this world. Barack Hussein Obama will leave a stain.
  155. RT @beckychr007 Take back the airwaves--when did it become the property of the federal govt to dole out as it deems fit?// Radio Act of 1927
  156. RT @carlmedearis: When Jesus said "Follow me," he wasn't talking about Twitter.
  157. RT @GregWHoward: Every time Meechelle takes off in one of those AF jets it costs us about $40-50K an hour // But she shops at Target!
  158. RT @hale_razor: If I had a $ every time capitalism was blamed 4 the problems caused by govt I'd be a fat filmmaker with a baseball cap
  159. RT @Leo_Pusateri: April 18, 1865, the 13th Amendment banning slavery was passed...with 100% GOP Support, and 63% Democrat OPPOSITION
  160. RT @Mister_T_Bone: Obama hails America's historic building of 'the Intercontinental Railroad' // Goes from Palin's house to Russia
  161. RT @POXnewz: An Illegal Alien, a Muslim and a Marxist go into a bar. The bartender asks:"What can I get you, Mr. President?" # teaparty
  162. RT @SpeakNowConserv: Christians Must Have Permit For Bible Fines For Bible Study In Home tinyurl.com/6yg58ym
  163. RT @VotingFemale: # Obama Snuffing al-Awlaki? Just another Muslim-On-Muslim Atrocity
  164. Samson's weapon of choice, the jawbone of an ass, is just as dangerous today. Look at Obama!
  165. Save the trees … Wipe your ass with a Northern Spotted Owl
  166. Science Major: "Why does it work?" Engineering Major: "How does it work?" Women's Studies Major: "Would you like fries with that?"
  167. Screw the Prime Directive! Upload Microsoft Windows to the Borg!
  168. Sean Penn offered to hide Qaddafi in his house, but did he accept? NOOOOOOOOOO
  169. Since when is shaking down Americans for Internal Revenue a "Service" ?
  170. Sixty-five million (32%) of American women are overweight. These are round figures.
  171. Some more homemade electronic music, this time to get you moving http://www.cleanposts.com/selah/mercurial.mp3
  172. Some of my homemade electronic music http://www.cleanposts.com/selah/13-Kinetic.mp3
  173. So the same credit agency that gave credit default swaps an AAA rating now downgrades the US debt. Why should anyone care?
  174. So the same credit agency that gave credit default swaps an AAA rating now downgrades the US debt. Why should anyone care?
  175. SPAM stands for Squirrel, Possum, Armadillo and Mouse
  176. Starting to see pictures of crowds of people standing on tanks, and tank crews calling it a day. Egypt might be at the tipping point.
  177. Still looking for Qaddafi. Has anyone checked Sean Penn's place?
  178. Tax month begins with April Fool's day and ends with "May Day!"
  179. Teddy Roosevelt = Square Deal; Franklin Roosevelt = New Deal; Harry Truman = Fair Deal; Bill Clinton = Meal Deal; Barack Obama = Raw Deal
  180. Telling a liberal the truth is like showing a vampire a crucifix
  181. Terry Jones burned the Koran...and Gen. Petraeus condemned it, but the US military burned Bibles in Afghanistan
  182. The American flag is the Decoration of Independence
  183. The American flag is the Decoration of Independence #tcot
  184. The American Tradition flew 24 men to the Moon. The Crescent Moon Tradition flew 19 men into three American buildings.
  185. The best way to accelerate a Windows PC is at 32 feet per second per second.
  186. The BHO Admin. threatened to cut off $1.5 bil. in aid to Egypt (and if Mubarak puts down the rebellion, Obama will be all "I ? Hosni")
  187. The Bill of Rights goes too far — it should have stopped at "Congress shall make no law."
  188. The ChiComs force Chinese Catholics to substitute the Roman Catholic Church in China with the Chinese Patriotic Catholic Association.
  189. The Decline of Western Civilization, Final Chapter: The Obama Years
  190. The Democratic emblem is a jackass — obviously a character reference!
  191. The difference between free-market capitalism and centrally-planned liberal socialism is plenty.
  192. The difference between free-market capitalism and centrally-planned liberal socialism is plenty. #tcot
  193. The difference between Obama and a dog? A dog doesn’t poop on the rug and blame it on the prior dog.
  194. The flight 93 passengers, and the firemen and policemen on #911: “They didn’t lose their lives, they gave their lives."
  195. The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.
  196. The greatest mystery of all time: What makes Teflon stick to the pan?
  197. The Japanese say we Americans are lazy? Hah! We cook our fish!
  198. The Libyan military may be machine-gunning the protesters, but the UN stands by their decision to put Libya on the Human Rights Panel
  199. The newest drink.... a Bin Laden.... - 2 shots and a splash of water...
  200. The news reports that Ghaddafi has fled the country. Has anyone checked Sean Penn’s place?
  201. The Obama economic plan is to get everyone in a circle, then they reach into the pocket of the person in front and take their wallet.
  202. The Obama sandwich: $5 of baloney, $20 tax
  203. The one on the right must be Shinola, Obama is on the "left."
  204. The only thing I gave up for Lent were my New Year's resolutions.
  205. The part I hated most about being on AOL was when it said, "You've Got Male!"
  206. The President walks into a bar with a parrot on his head. The bartender asks, "Where did you get that?" and the parrot says, "Kenya."
  207. There are two ways to win: Follow the rules, or like the Democrats do it .
  208. There IS safety in numbers! For example .357, .44, .45
  209. There’s a Lenin statue in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle, apparently imported from Russia where they didn’t want it any more.
  210. There was another one named Judas, but Iscariot did for that name what Hitler did for those Charlie Chaplin moustaches so we call him "Jude'
  211. The socialists in Washington State built a glitzy light rail line to keep up with the Portland Joneses, but there's no park and ride near any of the terminals because you're supposed to ride your carbon-neutral bike to the train from your commune.
  212. The sound of the clock hanging in the Oval Office "TAX tax...TAX tax..."
  213. The Tree of Liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants, and it's looking mighty thirsty again these days...
  214. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is you never know whether they're true or not." - Abraham Lincoln.
  215. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is you never know whether they're true or not." - Abraham Lincoln.
  216. The tsunami wave was 1 foot 7 inches in Washington State. Oprah makes the ocean go up higher than that when she swims at Malibu beach.
  217. The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
  218. The way he's going, Obama could lose all 57 states in 2012.
  219. The West Wing is just like a cactus, except the pricks are on the inside
  220. The West Wing is just like a cactus, except the pricks are on the inside #tcot
  221. This is your brain ->*<- This is your brain if you vote Democrat ->.<- Any questions?
  222. Those who say Obama was never born again are afterbirthers.
  223. Today is pushback, the people who actually have to WORK for a living will now show up in Madison
  224. To liberals the only environmentally correct human being is a dead one.
  225. Tonya Rodham Bobbitt: Meanest woman on earth
  226. Too much sex causes b(bl(luurre(edd vv(iisi((onn and also causes your memory to, uh, what was I saying just now? I lost my train of thought.
  227. True, Obama is eliminating the home mortgage tax deduction, but it shouldn't impact the average American living in the new communes.
  228. True, Obama is eliminating the home mortgage tax deduction, but it shouldn't impact the average American living in the new communes. #tcot
  229. Try http://JustUnfollow.com to find non-followers, simplest unfollow tool ever!
  230. Ugly girls are no-belle prize winners!
  231. UN:A place where dictators opposed to free speech (Castro, Putin, Ahmedinejad, Mugabe, Obama, Chavez, Kim Jong Il) demand to be heard
  232. UN:A place where dictators opposed to free speech (Castro, Putin, Ahmedinejad, Mugabe, Obama, Chavez, Kim Jong Il) demand to be heard #tcot
  233. Unemployment was 4.5% when Pelosi became Speaker. Just sayin'.
  234. Unemployment was 4.5% when Pelosi became Speaker. Just sayin'.
  235. Unemployment was 4.5% when Pelosi became Speaker. Just sayin'.
  236. Union rally in Madison is over, Michael Moore ate all their food, so they had to go home.
  237. U.S. admits Mexican cartels control parts of the border (glad SOMEONE is controlling it).
  238. US astronomers announce discovery of room temperature dwarf brown star. NASA immediately names it Gary Coleman.
  239. US Postal Service says, "Obama stamp to be discontinued; too many people were spitting on the wrong side."
  240. Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951
  241. Virus checking initiated... Completed. All viruses functioning normally.
  242. VIRUS ERROR 119: This virus requires Microsoft Windows to run properly
  243. Vodka + milk of magnesia = Phillips screwdriver
  244. Washington State: Rain and boredom, Microsoft, Boeing, and oceans of coffee. Bigfoot lurks in the woods, as does the next Green River Killer
  245. We call Bernanke and the Fed "Benny and the Inkjets"
  246. "We can have no '50-50' allegiance...either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all." (T. Roosevelt)
  247. Welcome to the second leg of the double dip, brought to you by the biggest dip to ever disgrace the Oval Office.
  248. What a country! In America, you follow other Tweeters. In Soviet Russia, Twitter follows YOU
  249. What does Kenny G say when he walks into an elevator? "This place rocks!"
  250. What do you call it when a liberal retweets something from #tcot ? Artificial intelligence.
  251. What do you call twelve Democrats wandering around in a Chicago cemetery? A Rahm Emmanuel "get-out-the-vote" rally!
  252. What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts? Change.
  253. What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts? Change. #tcot
  254. What is the definition of gross ignorance? 144 Democrats
  255. What kind of God tortures people forever for not "accepting Christ" when they just heard Allah and then were locked in a harem at age nine?
  256. What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only the skin.
  257. What's the difference between my social life and garbage? Garbage goes out once a week.
  258. What's the difference between Windows and a Virus? A Virus works and it's free!
  259. When a smurf chokes, what color does it turn???
  260. When Democrats in Congress make a joke it's a law. And when they make a law it's a joke
  261. When did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood and not a real boy? The day his hand caught on fire.
  262. When Obama runs out of things to tax, he'll probably start taxing IRS refund checks
  263. When Obama runs out of things to tax, he'll probably start taxing IRS refund checks #tcot
  264. When Obama said there were 57 States, he meant the 57 states of the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC)
  265. When's the Imam Rauf/Pastor Jones beer summit at the White House?
  266. When the GOP says they're for smaller government, they mean small enough to fit into a uterus.
  267. When the Norks actually do invade S. Korea it will be comic, their chronic undernourishment has turned them into a race of Hobbits
  268. When you go Chopin, don't forget your Liszt
  269. Win7 uses Charlie Sheen's idea of "win"
  270. Woman accused of stealing a wedding ring from a K-Mart. In other news, some people actually shop for wedding rings at K-Mart
  271. You can always bet money there's no rapture on date "d"...if there is, he's gone and you don't pay, and if there isn't, he pays YOU.
  272. You can be born a Muslim. You can be born a Jew. But you can't be born a Christian. Think about it.
  273. You can burn the flag and put Jesus in urine at taxpayer's expense, but burn the Koran and it's a matter for the United Nations.
  274. You have reached the very last page of the Internet. We hope you have enjoyed your browsing. Now turn off your computer and go outside.
  275. YouTube Twitter and Facebook are going to merge, and it's gonna be called "YouTwitFace"
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